- Natalie, for sending me her photo stream of the pictures she has taken on her phone in China.
- Natalie, for FaceTiming or iChatting with me.
- The crackle fireplace app on my computer (with a candle nearby to add some effect)
- Candles, for smelling so great!
- Clothes. Lots of them. Winter is cold!
- My mom, for loving me no matter what.
- My dad, for planning this huge trip to China over New Years to celebrate and reunite with Natalie.
- Merlin, the BBC show, for reminding me about how much I love magic and cheesy shows.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Grateful List
I feel so incredibly grateful right now... I am having a hard time even putting to words how thankful I am for the people in my life.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Overwhelmed?
So, today might be the day that I get my tattoo on my back shoulder... I'm very nervous and excited at the same time. A lot of my nerves stem from not seeing the artist in person yet. I've communicated a TON through her managers and assistants, but I haven't seen her yet...And I really want to see what her mock-ups look like... This tattoo will be on my body for the rest of my life (obviously), and it is also very expensive... I'm risking a lot with this.
For example, my dad is so disappointed in me to the point where he just decided to cut me off financially (besides insurance and phone--the phone was a Christmas present). What scares me is that now I have to work two jobs, probably full-time with both hours combined, finish an online class AND start another semester in school, and somehow fit in recovery appointments into all of this... I am sad because I have been doing yoga at The Emily Program for almost a year now, but I may have to stop because of all of this chaos. I might sign up for the Friday AM yoga group, and then see how my work schedule works around/with it.
Speaking of work, I train for my new job all of next week...I get paid a lot for training ($9.15/hr--woohoo!), but I will still be working my other job at Pinstripes... Hmm...when to get work/studying done... ? Any suggestions from my followers? Let me know!
Since I'm so busy, this is all I feel that my anxiety can handle to write right now... sitting still doesn't sound very appealing at the moment.
Scared and excited,
Rachel
For example, my dad is so disappointed in me to the point where he just decided to cut me off financially (besides insurance and phone--the phone was a Christmas present). What scares me is that now I have to work two jobs, probably full-time with both hours combined, finish an online class AND start another semester in school, and somehow fit in recovery appointments into all of this... I am sad because I have been doing yoga at The Emily Program for almost a year now, but I may have to stop because of all of this chaos. I might sign up for the Friday AM yoga group, and then see how my work schedule works around/with it.
Speaking of work, I train for my new job all of next week...I get paid a lot for training ($9.15/hr--woohoo!), but I will still be working my other job at Pinstripes... Hmm...when to get work/studying done... ? Any suggestions from my followers? Let me know!
Since I'm so busy, this is all I feel that my anxiety can handle to write right now... sitting still doesn't sound very appealing at the moment.
Scared and excited,
Rachel
Monday, August 20, 2012
Happy Birthday Demi Lovato!
Although she is mainly known as a teenage star on Disney Channel's "Camp Rock" and "Camp Rock 2," this actress and singer is an amazing role model for girls around the world. She has gone through rehab for self-harm and eating disorder recovery, and she does not give in to critical comments about her body. Great for her! I can't imagine having an eating disorder AND being famous. Luckily, I am just a middle-person in the country, so I only need to focus on my eating disorder recovery.
She even has tattoos on her wrists to cover up the scars: "Stay Strong"
Happy GOLDEN Birthday Demi Lovato!
20 Years old on August 20th, 2012!
La.Bella.Vita: Expanding Your Knowledge
La.Bella.Vita: Expanding Your Knowledge: When I mention the words ‘eating disorder’ people immediately think of Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia. But, it shouldn’t stop there. There ar...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Return
Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted on my blog...over a year. And it's amazing to read the posts that I put up. Even when I didn't want to work on recovery, I still posted on my blog to help give myself some hope and motivation.
I'm happy to say that I am much further along in my recovery than I was when I had created this blog. Sure, my anxiety is still really high; but, I am more aware of the rules in my life that the excerpt from Life Without Ed talks about. For example, I still have a rule about how much I can talk in conversations with certain people. How little I should say. If I say any more than the limit - I get in trouble. If I say less - it's okay. Similar to my eating disorder...if I eat less during the day, Ed congratulates me. If I eat even a tiny bit over my meal plan, I get a mental ass-whooping. Not anymore. Or, not as often, at least.
I now have a job as a host at a restaurant, and I also got another job working with disabled students on campus (yay!), AND I'm taking classes this semester. I don't remember the last time I was able to do so much at one time. It feels great! And it's all because I'm using common sense, but also taking care of myself nutritionally. I still have fear foods; I still fear calories. Those fears are not the same though as they were in the past. If I think about it, developing my eating disorder took many years... I can't expect myself to break free from it right away (although, that's what Ed wants me to think).
Since I'm just getting back into the groove of blogging, I'll end here for the day. There's much to be thankful for, and I am so grateful to have such an amazing support group that I've created from those close to me.
Here's a video of one of my favorite yoga poses to help release any tension you readers may have!
Namaste
I'm happy to say that I am much further along in my recovery than I was when I had created this blog. Sure, my anxiety is still really high; but, I am more aware of the rules in my life that the excerpt from Life Without Ed talks about. For example, I still have a rule about how much I can talk in conversations with certain people. How little I should say. If I say any more than the limit - I get in trouble. If I say less - it's okay. Similar to my eating disorder...if I eat less during the day, Ed congratulates me. If I eat even a tiny bit over my meal plan, I get a mental ass-whooping. Not anymore. Or, not as often, at least.
I now have a job as a host at a restaurant, and I also got another job working with disabled students on campus (yay!), AND I'm taking classes this semester. I don't remember the last time I was able to do so much at one time. It feels great! And it's all because I'm using common sense, but also taking care of myself nutritionally. I still have fear foods; I still fear calories. Those fears are not the same though as they were in the past. If I think about it, developing my eating disorder took many years... I can't expect myself to break free from it right away (although, that's what Ed wants me to think).
Since I'm just getting back into the groove of blogging, I'll end here for the day. There's much to be thankful for, and I am so grateful to have such an amazing support group that I've created from those close to me.
Here's a video of one of my favorite yoga poses to help release any tension you readers may have!
Namaste
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